Category Archives: Premiere

The promised improved audio file(s)

It’s been a fantastic few months since I wrote last here. Our family welcomed a baby boy to the crew. We call him Johannes, which often reminds me of Johannes Brahms, one of the great Romantic composers that I look up to, and whose music inspired me to write my first symphony.

I have played several concerts, and Diana Golden premiered my piece “Jorden är så full av färg” for solo cello, that she commissioned a couple of years ago. I had the privilege of listening in on a livestream on October 23. And you can listen to the piece at the YouTube link, from Washington College, in Chestertown, Maryland.

I had promised that I would post the improved audio files of my symphony. Sadly I have had severe technical difficulties making it happen, but the second movement worked out for some unknown reason. Enjoy! As soon as I can make it work, I will share the other three movements.

Second movement – Romance

Video of Requiem up on my YouTube channel

I now have Requiem up on my YouTube channel.

I wrote this piece to commemorate my lost babies. Sadly, the idea formed in my head sometime in 2018 after my first loss, which really devastated me. It maybe was the most destabilizing experience of my life when I lost my baby at about 11 weeks. Thankfully, I had some very thoughtful friends who ministered to me during that difficult time.

I didn’t expect to have another baby to mourn before completing the piece, but in January of 2021, I lost another baby at about 11 weeks as well. This time, I was determined to finish the project and did so in a short amount of time afterwards.

Jason Bergman had scheduled the performance for October 12, 2021. I was looking forward to attending it. I went to a rehearsal the week prior to see that they were executing my ideas like I had imagined. The fantastic musicians – Jason Bergman, Monte Belknap, and Michelle Kesler – interpreted my ideas in a lovely way and I was excited about hearing the premiere on the following Tuesday evening.

On Friday night, my midwife detected something off about my baby, and I went to get an ultrasound scan the next day. Baby wasn’t doing well, and the fluids were low, so it was hard to get a good scan.

Monday night, which happened to be my birthday, my midwife came by again, and could no longer detect a heartbeat. I expected that I’d lose this baby quickly, like the other babies, and worried not only about the heartbreak, but also about attending the premiere, so long awaited.

But I went and listened to the premiere with my husband, and this piece really moved me. Baby ended up being born several weeks later, and although he had already passed away, his birth was glorious, and everything was as good as it could be. Again, I had the lovely support of friends around me.

When I was a teen, I had the opportunity to perform Mozart’s Requiem with my school chamber choir. That music is sublime. Mozart wrote it as his last piece of music, and he didn’t finish it before he died, so a student finished it “in his style,” and we can only hope it was much like the man himself would have written it.

The music from Mozart’s Requiem has stayed with me all these years, and whereas I don’t claim his genius, I have been inspired by his music throughout my life, in particular the Requiem. Another fantastic piece of music with the same name is by Gabriel Fauré. I recommend these pieces anytime you want to feel lifted spiritually, or need to grieve a loved one.

It is my hope that my piece will serve to help another person grieve and mourn his or her loved ones as well.

YouTube channel up and running with my first video

I finally uploaded the video from Jonathan Warburton’s premiere of Where is home?, a piece in four movements for solo bass trombone. The piece was written in commemoration of my political exile from Sweden. Yes, they don’t allow home education as an option for most families, and after fighting the government (unsuccessfully) about the issue for about two years, we left for the United States. We are happy about living here, but it still hurts sometimes to think about how unwelcome we were in my home country because of our educational philosophy.

That means you can view this recording too, from October 3, 2022, at the University of South Carolina.

It is my intention to regularly populate my channel with new recordings of my works. Do subscribe to get a notification whenever new content is uploaded.

Mr. Warburton is planning another performance of the piece next year, which I hope to be able to attend in person.

Premieres of October 2022

Where is home?, my piece for solo bass trombone, was played by Jonathan Warburton publicly for the first time on October 3rd at the University of South Carolina, hosted by Michael Wilkinson, Assistant Professor of Trombone. I’m anxiously waiting to hear the recording, and I plan to post it here as soon as I’m able to.

A couple of months ago, I had the thought to write a sacred song for three-part women’s choir. I decided to use lyrics from Psalm 22 and Isaiah 58, and I call it Thou shalt call, and the LORD shall answer. It features a viola and piano as accompaniment. I asked some ladies in my local church congregation to sing it, and I played the viola, and we sang it for the first time yesterday (October 9) at our church service.

I hope to post a recording of that song as well here eventually.